Apparently serious

[st_ratagem]

The beach hadn't been in Loki's original plans for the day, to the extent that he planned days ahead in the Inn. They were all similar enough that there seemed little point. But after a message from Thor arrived while he was spending his few hours in the clinic (no more than a few, as he was still primarily trying to stuff information into his head and it turned out there actually was a limit to how effective that was on a daily basis) his not-plans had shifted.

The message had been simple, almost innocuous. Anyone else would have read it as a simple 'hey, we should talk!' More of Thor's sporadic clinging. But Loki had a longer baseline, and a few things had put him on edge.

It wasn't going to be a conversation that should have an audience. There was a chance it wouldn't actually be a conversation, per se - he'd have thought 'lecture' if he'd actually done anything worth lecturing about. (Surely putting a small child on a very low to the ground tightrope didn't qualify.)

But that was how he'd come to be seated on the beach (easy enough to reach within the border timeline if he shapeshifted to a wolf) with a neat coil of twine beside him, tying it into the right series of knots for a decent fishing net and waiting for Thor to turn up.

If nothing else, he'd know if he still remembered how to make nets properly.

Comments

[st_ormbreaker]

Eventually, Thor finally manages to pull his face away from his brother's shoulder. "You know," he begins, trying to make it sound more like a joke than it actually is, "I'm really tired of the people I love dying."

[st_ratagem]

"Well, you keep loving people, that's the problem." Similarly, it both was and wasn't a joke. "I hardly love anyone, so I don't mind death at all."

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor lets out a hoarse laugh at that, then finally relinquishes his hold on his brother.

"I'm not going to stop loving people just to make it easier," Thor says."I'm too hard-headed."

[st_ratagem]

Loki took his net back while shifting back to his original place next to Thor, where he began tying knots again. Measure with fingers, twist, pull. Not for the sake of the net itself, but to have something to do with his hands. "It's an acquired skill, I admit."

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor wishes his brother didn't feel the need to acquire it. He watches as his brother busies himself with his knots and wishes he had something to do with his hands, too. His hands were never as deft as Loki's were, though; his brother always had the finesse he lacked.

"I really do love you," he says after a moment. He's sure that his brother knows that much from what he said before, but he might as well clear up any doubts.

"I wish I had told you that. I thought I'd have all the time in the worlds to do so, but..."

Thor trails off.

[st_ratagem]

"There had to be one exception to prove the rule." Two, technically, three possibly... but still just one, as the two were dead. "I know. I love you, too. It's annoying."

[st_ormbreaker]

"I know," Thor says, and then he corrects himself. "I knew. I guess the two of us were sometimes bad at showing it."

[st_ratagem]

"I'm sure I'll go on that way more often than not." It was only the truth, which was unusual. Really, Loki thought, he ought to be talking up their various new understandings. There didn't seem to be a point, at the moment, so he didn't bother. Unpleasant though it might be to hear, he thought he'd gain more with the truth anyway. "I'm bad in general at these things."

[st_ormbreaker]

"I haven't known you to be bad at anything you truly tried at," Thor says.

[st_ratagem]

“And now you know one such thing. See, we’re both learning today.”

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor turns to look at Loki, his expression perplexed.

"So you try at it?"

[st_ratagem]

“I did, for a while, when we were young.” Loki shrugged, hands still moving on the net. “Eventually I realized that it only works if one is basically liked, so I stopped. No great loss to anyone.”

[st_ormbreaker]

"I liked you then," Thor insists, watching Loki carefully. "And I like you now, too. Don't act like nobody likes you."

[st_ratagem]

"No offense intended, brother, but you don't count. The exception, remember?" Loki half-smiled, aware of being watched but not looking up from his knots. "Don't act like it's so upsetting. It was hard to swallow at the time, but there are advantages."

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor huffs lightly at being told he doesn't count because he's the exception. It's silly and Thor knows it, but that doesn't stop him from feeling that way.

He still doesn't get how there could be advantages to being disliked, but as Thor has been disliked by very few people in his life and those who did dislike him he generally didn't care much for, either, it's no surprise that he has a hard time imagining those any benefits.

Still, he looks down at Loki's hands, busily knotting. Thor finds it strangely relaxing, and for a minute or two, he doesn't say anything. Thor just watches his brother work. The air starts to feel a little less oppressive than when their conversation first started.

Just a little.

Thor takes a breath and looks over at Loki.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier," he says, finally. "I'm sorry I couldn't do more."

[st_ratagem]

The advantages of being disliked were almost certainly not as great as the advantages of being liked (not that Loki had any experience of that), but they weren’t nonexistent. The biggest was surely that you never had to worry about losing any good opinions: whatever you did, there was nothing to lose.

“No apology necessary. I didn’t expect you to tell me at all.” Measure, twist, pull tight. It should have gotten boring but somehow never did. “I thought I’d find an exit and pull it out of your mind on my way out. Or I’d get it out of Stark.” Regardless, he’d expected to be on his own, as he generally was.

[st_ormbreaker]

"I did tell you, though," Thor says, though he does not mention that it was Tony that pushed him in this direction. True, he probably would have told Loki eventually, but he definitely wouldn't have told him as soon as he had. Thor knew himself well enough that without the appropriate force, he would have delayed it for as long as possible.

"And I don't recommend you looking into Tony's head," Thor says. "There are plenty of things there now that you probably don't want to see."

[st_ratagem]

“Yes, brother, I know. I was here.” Thor apparently didn’t understand the significance of not being left to shift for himself, for once. Of being told the dire secret instead Of finding out. Of not being alone just for a second.

But then Thor was never really alone. It was a good thing. Loki opted out of poking at it. “I don’t need to look in his mind. I could have gotten what I wanted by talking to him, sooner or later. I told you, he doesn’t quite have the hang of talking to me yet.”

[st_ormbreaker]

"But you still would have had to poke in mine," Thor says. He says it as if it is a statement, even though it feels more like a question. Was he that good at talking to his brother? Thor supposed so; they had known each other for 1500 years. They could both be quite adept at needling one another when the opportunity presented itself.

[st_ratagem]

Loki shook his head. "No. The relevant facts are 'Thanos' and 'dead'. Both of which I assume he knows, and are all I need to know what I'll be dealing with."

[st_ormbreaker]

"So you'd have just tried to wheedle the truth out of Tony."

[st_ratagem]

"Mmm. Very little real wheedling involved. On a test, guilt seemed like it would be far more effective." Stark had plenty of it, floating around. A little focus, move it around a little, and it would be done. "I'd only have needed to raid your mind if it didn't work. And now, of course, neither is required."

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor frowns a little at Loki's admission. "Are you done guilting my boyfriend now?"

[st_ratagem]

"Oh, probably. Unless I need something else from him at some point." Loki flashed what would have been an innocent smile at Thor, if only Thor hadn't known him so well.

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor rolls his eyes.

"I want your net when you're done with it."