[Thor and Loki] catching up

[st_ratagem]

The agreed-upon drinking together 'next week' had turned into more than two weeks of very little of Thor. It had been relaxing, more or less, but Loki had gotten used to his brother being underfoot on a regular basis. That he all but disappeared was... odd, for him, enough that the reminder of his promise to drink with Thor in hopes that 'maybe you'll be less cranky' had come as a relief. (Also a relief: the reminder had been about drinking, not about his promise to talk about the frog thing. Not that he wouldn't! Just that it wasn't something he looked forward to.)

As he had the last time, Loki just settled to wait for Thor to show up. Also like last time, he waited to see if Thor would actually knock or if he'd just appear; whether he translated an invitation as 'I don't have to knock'.

Comments

[st_ratagem]

“How does that change what I am?” Thrown out to die, picked up on a whim, altered and contained for private amusement. “And which ‘us’, brother? I believe you only because you didn’t know.”

[st_ormbreaker]

The rain picks up a little.

"You don't think that father rescued you out of compassion? Father made many mistakes, but bringing you home, raising you alongside me was never one of them."

Thor doesn't say anything for a moment. Instead, he looks out at the rain. When he finally opens his mouth to speak again, he turns to look at Loki.

"Loki, you are my brother. Who you are, what you are doesn't matter to me now, and it wouldn't have back then. Not if I knew it from the beginning."

[st_ratagem]

“I think if compassion motivated Odin, it would have been a first, and I strongly doubt that frost giants would have been targets of it in any case.” Not at the tail end of a bloody, lengthy war and beginning of angry, vengeful cease-fire. “I believe had my markings not shown me to be Laufey’s, the King of Asgard would have passed on. I believe he regretted not doing exactly that many, many times.” And he hadn’t been wrong to regret it; most would agree that lack of Loki would have been pure improvement.

“You are my brother. I don’t disbelieve or disagree with you on any point there. None of this is about you.” Loki decided not to remind Thor of how long ‘exterminate the frost giants’ he been his long-term goal, and how Odin had never checked it. Not right now, and who knew? Maybe that was something that would have been different if their father hadn’t loved his secrets best. “We’re speaking of Odin.”

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor goes back to looking at the rain. He can't imagine their father would regret taking Loki in, but using him as a pawn didn't seem terribly out of place as far as Odin was concerned. Not when he had been hiding so much. Not after he uncovered his history and knew after his death precisely how much he had been trying to hide it.

"I don't know how it's possible to be so angry at him, but miss him as much as I do."

[st_ratagem]

“I don’t miss him.” Loki didn’t exactly want to celebrate his death as he’d thought he might, but after the first grief once Thor had told him, there hadn’t been any particular rush of regrets. “But then I’ve had longer to hate him than you. And more inclination.”

[st_ormbreaker]

"I don't know if I can even say I hate him. I hated the things he did and the things he didn't do, but..."

Thor drones off, looks out at the horizon, takes a long swallow of his drink.

"Do you think this makes us orphans, or have we already outgrown the label?" he asks, clearly joking.

[st_ratagem]

"You could probably claim it if you needed to puppy-eye some pity out of someone at some point." Yes, that was meant to be humor. Knowing Thor, he'd bring it out at a completely inappropriate moment, and no one would know whether to laugh or not. It would be hilarious.

[st_ormbreaker]

"I'm not sure it'd work," Thor says, smiling lightly. "There's plenty of orphans here already." The place seemed to be packed with orphans and people with superpowers. Most of them were both.

[st_ratagem]

"You'll never know 'til you try." Loki took another drink and went back to watching the rain. Thor had always liked rain and storms; when his powers had come in there had probably been a measurable uptick in rainfall on Asgard. Just from exposure, Loki tended to find it soothing as well.

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor turns to Loki.

"I don't suppose it will work on you? Mother, father, sister, brother."

[st_ratagem]

"Well, I'm not dead yet, so you'd just start an argument." Loki looked back at him, curious. "What would you need my pity for, anyway?"

[st_ormbreaker]

"So you'll feel bad about it enough that when Thanos comes, you'll leave with the others instead of doing something stupid, like staying aboard."

[st_ratagem]

"My current plan A involves preventing that entire thing by not being there in the first place." Loki took another drink. "Does that count?"

[st_ormbreaker]

"I'm for any plan that isn't going to get you killed, and against any that will." Thor looks back out at the rain and wishes he was out in it.

[st_ratagem]

“What a pity you have no say in the plan.” For good reason. Sentimentality had very little place in cold equations. “There’s your pity. Done.”

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor pushes himself out of his chair, reaches for his bottle and wordlessly storms back inside.

[st_ratagem]

Loki stayed where he was for a solid count of twenty before going back inside as well. Long enough to believably not just be following his brother, long enough for Thor to storm entirely out of the room if that was his intent, short enough not to be particularly pointed otherwise.

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor is pulling the door behind him when Loki finally makes his way inside.

[st_ratagem]

Loki blinked, almost called out... then stopped himself. What would he say? Would he apologize for having his own will? For refusing to blindly obey the orders of someone who by causality wouldn’t be present to judge or know? For declining to be bound to a circumstance that might not be possible?

The only way Thor accepted was his own, and Loki’s way wpuld never match up.

So he didn’t call out. He just murmured to the closing door, “I told you I can’t be your follower.”