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[st_ratagem]

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[st_ormbreaker]

She says I look "fine" and that she prefers me with the long hair.

[st_ratagem]

Thank you.

[st_ormbreaker]

She says my eye's better than the eyepatch except when it's lazy.

How often does my eye look lazy?

[st_ratagem]

Not often?

[st_ormbreaker]

How often is not often? Once a day? Once a week?

[st_ratagem]

I truly don’t pay attention, Thor. Just accept that the eye is better than the patch.

[st_ormbreaker]

:(

[st_ratagem]

Seriously, brother, where is the insecurity coming from?

[st_ormbreaker]

It's not insecurity - it's curiosity!

[st_ratagem]

You just tried to get your brother and your lieutenant to reassure you of your hotness when you have a fiancé who’d probably write odes to it if you asked. And one of the two of us knows that you’ve never once needed reassurance before.

[st_ormbreaker]

No one has written odes to me in a few hundred years.

[st_ratagem]

Not that they showed you. And I suspect Stark would try in any case.

But fine. Don’t tell me.

[st_ormbreaker]

Are you mad that I won't tell you?

[st_ratagem]

No, I expect I’ll hear about it at some point. I don’t have any investment in the How Hot Is Thor debate.

[st_ormbreaker]

So you think I'm hot.

[st_ratagem]

Please see the above two points, which I also helpfully summarize here:

1. Definitely not my type

2. Still not my type

[st_ormbreaker]

But you agree I can be someone's type, right?

[st_ratagem]

Asks the man who’s been in probably at least one hundred relationships in his life?

[st_ormbreaker]

You don't think someone could love me for my personality?

[st_ratagem]

I’m sure it’s all a rich tapestry, brother. Why would you think someone who actually isn’t anyone’s type would know the first thing? Because I assure you I don’t.

[st_ormbreaker]

I'm sure you're someone's type.

[st_ratagem]

No. Never have been, never will be. It’s simply the way things are.

[st_ormbreaker]

That is ridiculous.

[st_ratagem]

It’s not.

[st_ormbreaker]

You are ridiculous.