planning stages!

[st_ratagem]

Loki had decided to solve a problem. It wasn't an active problem yet, but with Thor and Valkyrie both in residence, it was entirely possible that at some point alcohol would end up in short supply. Thor alone had managed to drink most of the alcohol in the Inn, and Loki thought that Valkyrie's tolerance was probably somewhat higher. That being the case, it seemed like a good long-term idea to start making booze. Specifically, Asgardian spirits strong enough to ensure that the king and his lieutenant had more efficient options than 'drink two whole bars'.

The only problem was that Loki didn't exactly know how the brewing and distillation process had worked. He'd never paid much attention to distilleries back home. Stills themselves were simple enough, according to a few books he'd collected from the library, but how the versions on Asgard differed... was it a matter of material? Ingredients? Something else?

It was almost certainly an area where Thor knew more than he did, so Loki sent a message inviting his brother to come up and help with a project. He made no particular effort to sound like he wasn't up to something, because it would be fun to see what conclusions Thor jumped to regarding the invitation.

Comments

[st_ratagem]

“About what?” Playing dumb: very occasionally a useful tactic.

[st_ormbreaker]

"Don't play dumb. We both know you are many things, but you aren't that."

[st_ratagem]

“It’s fun, though, sometimes! I know you know that.” Thor was, after all, occasionally the master of playing dumb. “I have honestly forgotten now, though.”

[st_ormbreaker]

"Sure, sure," Thor says irritably, pushing himself back to his feet. "I forgot selective amnesia was one of your many skills along with faking your own death."

[st_ratagem]

"Something done once in extremity hardly counts as a skill." Loki rolled his eyes. "And you accuse me of being dramatic?"

[st_ormbreaker]

Loki continues to fan the flames, and as per the norm, it continues to be effective.

"Tricking me is a skill," Thor says, looking down at Loki, "and you don't seem to think about the repercussions whenever you've done it."

[st_ratagem]

"On the contrary, the repercussions are frequently what I'm aiming for, more or less." Loki shrugged. "Not to mention that trickery and manipulation have been the only solid ways to get you where I need you at times."

[st_ormbreaker]

"Fine, be that way."

Thor shoots Loki a mulish look and for a second, it looks like he might have something else to say, but he doesn't say it. He's already gotten the last word, even though he's sure Loki is going to make some attempt to take that away from him.

Thor storms off towards the door.

[st_ratagem]

“See, you don’t even need me to answer questions you refuse to actually ask!” Loki dishes through the books and papers for one particular book, mostly as something to do with his hands. “You can answer them yourself.”

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor spins around on heel and sharply points a finger at Loki.

"Why did you do all those things?" he asks. "I don't want my answers, I want yours!"

[st_ratagem]

“As a matter of fact, this,” a flick of one hand somehow indicated Thor’s now-aborted storm-off, “is my answer to the second thing you refused to actually ask. I didn’t talk to you about things because you don’t actually want to know. You want to get outraged and stomp off. I can’t imagine a better demonstration than you listing a number of things you don’t know, me inviting you to ask about them, and you deciding you’d rather leave. If you want answers, ask the fucking questions. I have no intention whatsoever of either responding to a list of statements or justifying every second of my life.”

[st_ormbreaker]

"I'm not asking you to justify every second of your life!" Thor yells. Why must his brother make so many assumptions? "I want to understand you. I don't know if I'm going to ever have the chance to find out when I return and all I've been left with after you died is all these unanswered questions, the same as I was with Odin!"

Thor spits out that last word without even thinking. He takes a shaky breath and curls his fingers into his palms, tight enough that he can feel his nails against the skin of it.

[st_ratagem]

"Then. Ask." Was it really so difficult, asking actual questions? Loki spread his hands. "I'm here, you're here, and I'm fairly certain there are no actual crises waiting."

[st_ormbreaker]

"Why'd you betray me?" he asks, still standing. "The first time." Because that requires clarification. "At what point were you sure you had enough of me?"

[st_ratagem]

Loki shrugged. "Bringing the frost giants to ruin your coronation was just a bit of fun, and a way to put it off a bit. You were going to be a terrible king." Loki felt safe in saying that, because it was likely to be this older Thor's opinion as well. He hadn't been ready. "I goaded you into chasing them to make sure of it. I had no idea Odin would actually exile you for it, and when he did? I had a very significant reason to try and force some actual acceptance out of Asgard." He briefly shifted to frost giant aspect, then back to Asgardian before the surrounding temperature could drop too far. "So you had to stay exiled. I'd have been content to let you live and die on Earth, unmolested, but your idiot friends decided to go fetch you. Which in turn meant I had to kill you. I don't deny I resent that all the universe loves you for existing and walks wide around me, but anything that can be tolerated for 1500 years isn't likely to be a breaking point on its own."

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor doesn't disagree he would be a terrible king. That much was true. Even now he had his doubts about his ability to be a capable leader, even more now after everything that had transpired since the destruction of Asgard. Just like then, he had moments where his emotions made him foolish. That foolishness was fine when the only victim of it was himself, but as leader of Asgard and sole protector of what remained of the Nine Realms, he couldn't afford to misstep, and yet he did and he could not trust that he wouldn't.

"You truly believe there was no other way?"

[st_ratagem]

Loki shrugged. "What does that matter? It's what happened. Honestly, not even that was a way, it just made sense to me at the time."

[st_ormbreaker]

"I need to know what I did to make you feel the way that you did." Thor finally crouches down next to his brother, then settles down into a full sit. He looks down at Loki's blueprint, the one he sketched over.

"Whatever mistakes I made... I don't want to make them again."

[st_ratagem]

"Don't worry about it. It's nothing you can help." Loki put his book aside again.

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor looks up and over at Loki.

"Nothing?" he repeats, incredulous.

[st_ratagem]

"Nothing." Loki sighed. "You are who and what you are. The universe and everything in it loves you and falls at your feet because you exist. You're used enough to it that you assume...." He waved a hand. "I can't explain, but I can take care of myself."

[st_ormbreaker]

"You'll just go it alone. Like you've always done," Thor says, as if echoing someone else's words.

[st_ratagem]

If it was a quote, Loki didn’t recognize it, but that didn’t stop it from being right. “Yes. Not the happiest mode of existence in the universe, I grant you, but I’m no more built for happiness than satisfaction. So it works out.”

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor reaches a hand over and wordlessly tousles Loki's hair affectionately.

[st_ratagem]

Loki allowed it for a second or two, then knocked Thor's hand away. "Any other questions?"