st_ratagem | (no subject)

Entry tags:

loki,
thor

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It had been a while since the brothers had spent time together; it was possible that Loki had been avoiding Thor somewhat since their message conversation about his... involvement with Valkyrie. Further conversation was something he both did and didn’t want to have, which was a good sign of an unintended fight ab It to happen. But things had been quiet enough for long enough that it didn’t seem like something worth worrying about.

So Loki sent a quick message to Thor, inviting him up to see the fish tank and mostly-Valkyrie’s collection of goldfish swimming around inside it.

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A moment passes before he takes his brother's suggestion to heart.

"Do you cut your own hair?"

“I do. I only enjoy sharp things near my throat in specific situations.” Or from specific people. Loki tousled Thor’s hair to shake out any loose cut hairs before continuing. “Random idiots with scissors and a grudge aren’t as fun as you’d think.”

Thor resists the urge to look over at Loki. "So you've had bad haircut experiences as well?"

“No, brother, I’m avoiding being ‘accidentally’ stabbed or throat cut.” Loki shook his head. “I’m avoiding bad haircut experiences.”

"It was just a question," Thor grumbles.

“And it was just an answer.” Under other circumstances, Loki might have pinched or tugged out of slight annoyance, but Thor was still tense enough that that kind of thing would push too far. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand why you ask questions when you don’t want answers.”

"You always have to be smart about it."

“I answered the question you asked! You’d prefer I made up a lie?” He shook his head. “I could, but I was under the impression you preferred not to be lied to.”

"I didn't say that." A beat, and then: "I don't want to fight with you." Even if Loki weren't cutting his hair, he still wouldn't want to fight with him.

“I don’t either, but I also don’t know what to...” Loki sighed, continuing to steadily trim hair. “Never mind. I just prefer handlings things myself, and that includes haircuts. Better?”

For the second time that conversation, Thor has to resist the urge to turn his head to look at his brother.

"Would you let me cut your hair?"

It's not so much about the hair (Thor wouldn't feel comfortable cutting Loki's hair -- braiding it, yes, cutting it? no), so much as it is about the question behind it: do you trust me? Thor resolves himself not to get upset at the answer; he's pretty sure he knows what it will be.

Loki shrugged. “Yes.” That, Yes. There were a fair number of ways in which he didn’t, in fact, trust Thor, but haircut-related worries weren’t among them. “The worst you’d do is leave me with a mess to fix, not bleeding out on the floor.”

Thor tries to hide his surprise at Loki's answer.

"I'd be very careful," Thor assures him, though Thor isn't sure that his carefulness would translate into anything that looked good on Loki. He wouldn't want that sort of responsibility anyway.

"I do trust you, though." A beat. "Most of the time."

“A terrible decision, really.” Loki’s tone was mostly amused. Thor was more careful about his trust than he claimed to be, so it worked out. He clipped a few more ends, then ran his fingers through Thor’s hair to check length. “I trust you at least somewhat.”

"Somewhat," Thor repeats, more for the sound of it than in protest of it. "I'm still trying to trust your decision-making on The Statesman. It's nicer to believe you died for something than for nothing."

Though Thor still would rather his brother not die at all.

“I wish you would.” The hair looked even, so Loki opted to deal with the hair that had fallen in Thor’s eyes earlier with a quick braid and simple silver clip at one temple. Thor, he thought, would like that. “I have to, at least until I actually get the missing pieces.”

"It'd be easier, you know," Thor says, resisting the temptation to touch his hair where it's clipped. "If I really believed you valued your life."

“There’s nothing to value, brother. If I don’t die, my choices are solitary confinement on earth for the rest of my life or solitary exile for the rest of my life.” It was easier to say the second time, which likely wasn’t a good sign. “Fifteen hundred years of being on my own was enough to make the void a relief once already. I can’t do anything but dread having to do it again twice over or more. But I will, if that works out to a win. I hate losing more than I want to die. If I don’t still think death is a win when the time and context comes, I’ll opt to suffer instead. I have a few options in mind for that.”

For a long moment, Thor doesn't say anything.

"When I go back, it'll be like losing you for a fourth time," he says. "It doesn't matter if you die, if you opt to leave it will still be a loss."

“Alive and staying is choosing a cage. I’d be able to move around, at least, as an exile.” Loki pulled a hand mirror from over there and offered it to Thor so he could look at his head, including the little braid with its clip. “When I go back I’ll lose everything I have, no matter what else happens. That’s just the way it is. I find I prefer to think of it as little as possible.”

Thor takes the mirror, but doesn't hold it up yet. "You could stay in disguise," he insists. "Stay with us with some other face."

“Not tenable over any kind of long term.” Loki patted his brother’s shoulder, then moved to the bowl, which now contained the small pile of hair-snips from the trim. “And once on Earth, escape would be difficult. There’s a path to Jotunheim, but that’s not much help. I don’t want to be stuck there, either.”

Edited 2019-03-26 19:50 (UTC)

Thor looks over at Loki. "We'll go somewhere else, then," he says. "It doesn't have to be Earth."

“Earth is the best option for our people. You weren’t wrong about that. It’s decidedly livable, the humans are at least superficially similar to you, and of course they love you.” Loki pulled a bottle of rum - not his favorite, but good for burning - and a matchbook from over there. “Not only is there very little chance they’ll turn down any kind of asylum request, you’ll get the best deal possible. That’s not something that can be said for most other worlds.”

Thor squints at Loki as he pulls out a bottle of rum and a matchbox, but doesn't remark upon it.

"You don't think Vanaheim would welcome us?"