st_ratagem | (no subject)

Entry tags:

loki,
thor

(no subject)

It had been a while since the brothers had spent time together; it was possible that Loki had been avoiding Thor somewhat since their message conversation about his... involvement with Valkyrie. Further conversation was something he both did and didn’t want to have, which was a good sign of an unintended fight ab It to happen. But things had been quiet enough for long enough that it didn’t seem like something worth worrying about.

So Loki sent a quick message to Thor, inviting him up to see the fish tank and mostly-Valkyrie’s collection of goldfish swimming around inside it.

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“Of course not.” Loki shoved at the companionable arm. “I’m not anyone’s type. I don’t inspire that kind of feeling.”

"You looked like a couple when I saw you there at the fair," he says, more seriously. "Have you tried talking about it?"

“She’s just tactile in general, I think.” And he didn’t mind, because he was a sad case that knew better but would take what he could get. “And god, no, why would I do that to myself?”

"Because you enjoy torturing yourself."

“Only in some ways!” Why deny it? “But I assure you, inviting certain rejection at the very least is not one of those ways.”

"Do you want me to ask her about it?" he asks. "I'll ask her about it."

“That’s almost as bad.” He paused to consider, then continued, “Regardless of who does the speaking, it forces her to realize she’s involved with me, which is all the reason anyone needs to run screaming. Metaphorically speaking.”

"So you do like her then." This conversation was enough evidence for Thor to come to that particular conclusion.

“Yes.” No point denying that, either, at this point. “I’m deeply annoyed at myself, of course, as I really should know better, but... yes.”

"She is strong and clever and beautiful," Thor says, agreeably. "I can see why you would fall for her."

“Also good with knives.” So good with knives, as well as the other little violences they both enjoyed. “But yes, thank you for rubbing it in.” He shook his head. “You realize this is my nightmare, don’t you?”

"You're the only one I know who take something like falling in love and call it a bad thing." Thor smiles, warmly, genuinely. "Being in love is a great thing. Even when it's really painful."

"I have no doubt that's true for you." He'd done it often enough, certainly. There had to be something in it, for Thor. "But for me it's nothing but pain, not least because I knew better than to ever do this to myself. All I can do is wait for things to end, which of course they will, probably sooner than later. And then the real suffering begins."

"When I was with Jane, I had that fear from time-to-time," Thor admits. "When we broke up, it was very painful. Still is, sometimes." That much was true; even though they had been broken up for some time now and was with someone else, he'd think of Jane and feel a sharp tinge of pain. "But I wouldn't change it. I don't regret being with her, even if things didn't end the way I wanted them to."

“That’s not the same. For one, there was actually a ‘with’.” It seemed obvious. “Which is not among my options and never has been. The Valkyrie is not interested in me beyond what currently exists.”

"How do you know that when you haven't asked her?"

“Unless I’ve missed something, I remain me.” Loki spread hs hands, “That’s how I know. Also, she’s mentioned on one occasion at least that she doesn’t need to be any more involved in order to fulfill her duties.”

Thor pats Loki's shoulder with remarkably more restraint than he might usually. "Yes, yes, I know. You don't believe anyone is capable of loving you."

“With two exceptions: you and Mother.” And of course, Frigga was dead, which left only Thor. “It’s not a deficiency in others, mind. It’s a lack in me. I don’t have the... whatever it is.”

"Personally, I think you have plenty there," he says, gesturing with the still unused-mirror. He leaves it at that. Obviously, Loki's not going to listen to it, so Thor isn't going to bother convincing him. "Now let me see what you've done to my hair."

Thor lifts the mirror, and takes a look; his expression, at first is neutral, as he runs his hand through the hair on the side that isn't clipped back. Slowly, a smile begins to form on his lips.

“Not terrible, I take it?”

"No," Thor says, grinning. "It looks great. Not long enough, but there isn't much either of us can do about that right now." He lowers the mirror and looks over at Loki.

"Thank you."

“Of course. I told you months ago I’d trim your hair when it was needed, and now I have.” It would be needed again, at some point, but Loki though his brother was unlikely to argue much, now. “You should be able to do the little braid in the clip yourself if you like, but the clip is the important bit.” It would keep hair out of his face.

"You're going to do it again, right?"

“Yes, whenever it needs to be done. If you like, now that you know I won’t ruin your head.”