Awkward Emotional Self-Actualization and You? (title subject to change)

[st_ratagem]

Loki hadn't been sleeping particularly well since Thor's detailing of the 'more' and 'worse' he'd been hiding for weeks. Had he been the sort to have heartfelt conversations with people (shudder) and described Thanos as 'the stuff of nightmares' it would have been nothing more than factual. Not that Loki wished the information about his possible future gone, or not told - if he didn't know, he couldn't plan - but it was... difficult. The experience of Thanos as a 'valued ally' had been horrific enough that he'd been carefully Not Thinking of what waited for him as a total failure.

But he had to think of it now. And did, every time a nightmare woke him and ensured he stayed awake. (Eventually, he would have to deal with the sleep deprivation issue. At the moment, he felt he was managing well enough that it was not a priority.) Among the various possible plans evolving in the back of his mind were a few hedges, and among the hedges was one very clear thing: frost giants had natural ice powers. That was a weapon that, if he could develop it, could grant him a moment of surprise in the right pinch.

He had to try, so Loki turned into a wolf (black with green eyes, it was his pattern) and picked a random direction to run in. Isolation would likely be best, he thought. No witnesses.

But isolation and no witnesses was not on the agenda, as it didn't take terribly long for him to run into a fairly spread-wide campsite populated by metal statue-things and fairly stinking of Tony Stark. After a few seconds of blank staring at one of the statue-things, he turned back into himself and remarked to the space at large, trusting Stark would show himself, "Somehow I never considered 'living in a tent' to be on your list of personal goals."

Comments

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Iron Man tilted his head. "I'm guessing Big Bro hasn't caught wind of this one."

[st_ratagem]

“He has not. He’d argue with me about it, despite the near-total absence of down side.” True, Thanos would gain the Tesseract, but he was already going to. Their people would stay alive, Heimdall would stay alive, and if Thanos couldn’t be convinced to spare Loki, he’d at least die out of Thor’s line of sight.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Patches of skin and cloth could be seen in rippling circles, though the nanites struggled to self-correct.

"He has a thing for rebuking us lone wolf types, I'll admit."

[st_ratagem]

The armor was definitely misbehaving, but Loki wasn’t technologically inclined enough to even begin to guess why. Had it been magic, he’d have suspected some fault in concentration or something off in spell configuration. But it wasn’t magic.

He rolled his eyes. “There’s no ‘us’, Stark. You do the same thing he does. To a lesser degree, maybe, but the same. Any perspective or decision that isn’t yours is clearly wrong and worthless because it’s not yours and yours is right. Which is of course what you’re fighting about: whose reality wins.” And they were definitely fighting, because Thor had turned up asleep in Loki’s room two nights running without a peep about ‘Tony will be looking for me’.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"Sorry, forgot, no solidarity for the trickster. It would intrude on your brooding time. Loner tendencies aside, I do live in a world where I can accept there are emotions that exist outside of my own without writing them off in a hopelessly cynical fashion." From behind his armor, Tony's face was as blank as his face plate, and had been for quite some time.

"That being said, I'm only gonna do the Thor thing a little and point out how this whole thing is disturbingly like a suicide mission." 'Like' was being coy about it. "That qualifies as a 'near-total absence of down side?'"

[st_ratagem]

"Oh, I don't brood. I have better things to do with my time." Brooding had to be restricted to appropriate times, after all, or it tended to take over. There were always more entertaining things to do than sit and pout about whatever. "And yes, absolutely. Why would it not? Much lower body count on the whole. Only two failure points, one of which was always certain and the other merely possible." Verging on probable, but if there was a path, he would find it. "A clear win, nearly across the board."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Whether it was through his steadily improving nanotech or a will to not let anyone see the expression he was currently making, Tony's armor held steady as he turned to watch the fire again.

"Hm."

[st_ratagem]

"And of course, from your side the only point of failure is the certain one." The possible/probable would be a relief to all but Thor, for a near-certainty. Loki sighed. "He's always going to get the Tesseract, keeping it from him is a non-starter. It'll be too much in the open. And if I fail to convince him, I doubt my death will be quick. There may be an opportunity there, but if not at least there's a chance my brother never hears of it. I would simply disappear. Comfortable sort of thought, isn't it?"

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Approaching the five minute mark. Tony squeezed along his armor's left forearm.

"To whom?"

[st_ratagem]

"What, you don't think so?" The armor seemed to have more or less stabilized, so it didn't hold Loki's attention any longer. The fire was more interesting,even if part of him wondered whether he could snuff it out with ice, if he knew hot. "To me, for one."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Summoning it, the repulsor on his left palm glowed softly and hummed. The power it drew was faint, but it was there. Tony let it die.

"I don't."

[st_ratagem]

"How odd. Should I be flattered?" Certainly he was, a little, by the lack of test shot given the briefly live repulsor, but that wasn't the topic of conversation.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"Would it be more scintillating if I hid my true feelings for you to prod and scrape out?" Tony's hand went to his chest, fingers tapping his arc reactor to simply feel its presence.

[st_ratagem]

"It might, but I'll live. Also, that wasn't an answer." Loki pointed with a bright smile. "Can't really read your face with the metal."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Without hesitation, Tony allowed the armor to take its leave. The strain of keeping it formed carried its own mental toll, somehow.

"I like you better alive. That's all. Call me naive or call me a liar, I'd love that."

[st_ratagem]

"Could be either. Or 'gullible' perhaps, as I've been on my best behavior here, more or less." Not that Stark hadn't been putting a lot of effort into his 'civility' plan. "Well, comfort yourself, Tony. I might not die. I've enough to work with and I seem not to be half-bad at talking my way into the affection of people with no pressing reason to have any at all."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"That's reassuring." A mental image of Loki coquettishly talking sweet nothings at Thanos (Tony pictured Voldemor with a gym membershipt) took over. Real nice.

"Stay for tea?"

[st_ratagem]

"Sure." It wasn't like either of them were on a schedule, and while they weren't sleeping there wasn't much better to do. "Desperate for company, trying to avoid sleeping, or both?"

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"Trying to be a decent host at Tienda de Campaña de Tony." Pushing up, Tony made to grab the grate and the kettle.

[st_ratagem]

“Both. Understood.” Loki watched the maneuvers with the kettle for a few seconds, then chuckled. “You know, you can tell me to get lost. There’s a lot of desert filled with things to try and freeze.”

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"Are you really worried that I'm too polite to let you know when you've outstayed your welcome? I thought you knew me." The kettle of water was relatively quick in its ascension to boiling. "If you're eager to skedaddle, at least let me send you off with a cup of matcha before you do your Let it Go routine."

Truly, Tony was taking hosting to heart, tent in the middle of the creepy desert or no.

[st_ratagem]

"Just making sure. Also, you have to know that I have no idea what you mean by that." 'Let it Go' clearly meant something, but Loki had no idea what.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"Musical number." Tony cracked open the box of green tea bags. "Sung by a Nordic princess. Ice powers. Lives a life of restraint and concealment and the song is her big breakthrough moment where she lets loose and sees what she's capable of." Tony dusted off a mug with a cloth. "She's got a plucky sister constantly begging her to let down her emotional walls. Said sister dates a handsome, dashing and brunette prince."

The amount of details Tony knew about the movie was distressing. The charity work with children he had done since retirement filled the void left by baby fever.

[st_ratagem]

“If you start singing I’ll have to take your voice. And I might not give it back.” He could start a collection! All collections started with one. “Do you dare risk it?”

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"Then that would make you Ursula. Sea witch. I am an excellent singer by the way, you should be so lucky." Tony poured the steaming water in and deposited the bag to steep.

"Stay frosty, my friend." He handed it over. "The cold never bothered you anyway."