[Thor and Loki] catching up

[st_ratagem]

The agreed-upon drinking together 'next week' had turned into more than two weeks of very little of Thor. It had been relaxing, more or less, but Loki had gotten used to his brother being underfoot on a regular basis. That he all but disappeared was... odd, for him, enough that the reminder of his promise to drink with Thor in hopes that 'maybe you'll be less cranky' had come as a relief. (Also a relief: the reminder had been about drinking, not about his promise to talk about the frog thing. Not that he wouldn't! Just that it wasn't something he looked forward to.)

As he had the last time, Loki just settled to wait for Thor to show up. Also like last time, he waited to see if Thor would actually knock or if he'd just appear; whether he translated an invitation as 'I don't have to knock'.

Comments

[st_ratagem]

He was. And it was working. "That doesn't sound like me. Are you sure?"

[st_ormbreaker]

"I've been good tonight," Thor points out. "You should be nice to me."

[st_ratagem]

“How am I not? Change the subject if you don’t like this one.” You should be nice really ought to have been answered with have you met me? But that was a boring argument.

[st_ormbreaker]

"You're intentionally annoying me, for one." Maybe Loki wasn't, but he couldn't be sure. "But if we're going to change the subject, we really should talk about father."

And what better time than when they're drinking?

[st_ratagem]

Oh good. Loki drained his bottle, set it on the table, then pulled out a second. "If we have to."

[st_ormbreaker]

"I told you this already, but at the end of it all, he told us that he loved us," he says. Their father had never been one for sentiment, never been the sort of person to say things like I love you.

He'd said it before, but those occasions had been few and far between.

"I loved him too, but I'm still angry. Angry about him keeping all those secrets. About throwing Hela in hell. I think about how he cast me out, banished me and I wonder if he just gave up too easily."

Thor takes a long drink, then sets the bottle down.

"Or maybe not. She was wild, angry. Killed all the Valkyrie back when she was free. There might have legitimately been no way to stop her."

[st_ratagem]

Thor had said it before, yes, and some sad little part of Loki still wanted to believe it. But most of him, the icy practical part still murmured he was talking to Thor and made things plural just for convenience. It wasn't out of character, the old man was as much a manipulator as Loki was. "Seeing as how you yourself told me you... we had to blow up Asgard to stop her in your past, I expect banishment was the light sentence for all concerned."

[st_ormbreaker]

"Maybe," Thor says. "Father conquered the Nine Realms. Did I tell you that?" Thor can't remember right now. "Hela was at his side during that time. I can't help but feel he's responsible for how she turned out."

[st_ratagem]

"I'd guessed as much based on how quickly rebellions started up when I relaxed Asgard's grip even a little." It had been almost startlingly easy, as all it had required was for Loki to do nothing. "Willing participants in a confederation don't start screaming 'freedom!' and shooting things as soon as one looks the other way. As to Hela... it's almost a shame we can't find out whether 'goddess of death' preceded the conquest or not."

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor still disapproves of how Loki handles things, but he somehow manages to reign in his irritation at his brother for not taking the role of interim leader seriously.

Still, irritation registers in his voice, but it's not directed at Loki.

"If he didn't have anything to feel guilty about, he would have told us about her. He should have told us her before he just dissolved into Odinforce and left us to take care of the mess he left behind."

[st_ratagem]

"Oh, Odin keeps secrets that he shouldn't, and said secrets ruin lives. What a surprise this is to me. I am shocked to my core." Loki rolled his eyes and took a drink. "From what you've told me, he specifically contructed that mess such that his future child would have to deal with it."

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor looks over at Loki. "Future children," he says. "You referred to her as our sister back in my time. You helped as much as anyone in stopping her."

Like his brother, he takes another drink, leaving only a sip or two behind.

[st_ratagem]

"Future child and future found-object art project, then." Loki waved a hand, then produced a third bottle, ready for when Thor needed it. "Semantics."

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor looks at his brother, his expression equal parts bewildered and concerned.

"Is that really what you think of yourself?"

[st_ratagem]

"I haven't used those particular words before, but you have to admit they're fairly accurate." Loki took another drink, carefully not paying attention to Thor's expression. All casual and normal here!

[st_ormbreaker]

"None of us thought of you like that," Thor insists. "I've always thought of you as a brother, even when I didn't like the things you did."

That, perhaps, was putting it mildly.

Thor finishes the bottle and moves onto the next one.

[st_ratagem]

“How does that change what I am?” Thrown out to die, picked up on a whim, altered and contained for private amusement. “And which ‘us’, brother? I believe you only because you didn’t know.”

[st_ormbreaker]

The rain picks up a little.

"You don't think that father rescued you out of compassion? Father made many mistakes, but bringing you home, raising you alongside me was never one of them."

Thor doesn't say anything for a moment. Instead, he looks out at the rain. When he finally opens his mouth to speak again, he turns to look at Loki.

"Loki, you are my brother. Who you are, what you are doesn't matter to me now, and it wouldn't have back then. Not if I knew it from the beginning."

[st_ratagem]

“I think if compassion motivated Odin, it would have been a first, and I strongly doubt that frost giants would have been targets of it in any case.” Not at the tail end of a bloody, lengthy war and beginning of angry, vengeful cease-fire. “I believe had my markings not shown me to be Laufey’s, the King of Asgard would have passed on. I believe he regretted not doing exactly that many, many times.” And he hadn’t been wrong to regret it; most would agree that lack of Loki would have been pure improvement.

“You are my brother. I don’t disbelieve or disagree with you on any point there. None of this is about you.” Loki decided not to remind Thor of how long ‘exterminate the frost giants’ he been his long-term goal, and how Odin had never checked it. Not right now, and who knew? Maybe that was something that would have been different if their father hadn’t loved his secrets best. “We’re speaking of Odin.”

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor goes back to looking at the rain. He can't imagine their father would regret taking Loki in, but using him as a pawn didn't seem terribly out of place as far as Odin was concerned. Not when he had been hiding so much. Not after he uncovered his history and knew after his death precisely how much he had been trying to hide it.

"I don't know how it's possible to be so angry at him, but miss him as much as I do."

[st_ratagem]

“I don’t miss him.” Loki didn’t exactly want to celebrate his death as he’d thought he might, but after the first grief once Thor had told him, there hadn’t been any particular rush of regrets. “But then I’ve had longer to hate him than you. And more inclination.”

[st_ormbreaker]

"I don't know if I can even say I hate him. I hated the things he did and the things he didn't do, but..."

Thor drones off, looks out at the horizon, takes a long swallow of his drink.

"Do you think this makes us orphans, or have we already outgrown the label?" he asks, clearly joking.

[st_ratagem]

"You could probably claim it if you needed to puppy-eye some pity out of someone at some point." Yes, that was meant to be humor. Knowing Thor, he'd bring it out at a completely inappropriate moment, and no one would know whether to laugh or not. It would be hilarious.

[st_ormbreaker]

"I'm not sure it'd work," Thor says, smiling lightly. "There's plenty of orphans here already." The place seemed to be packed with orphans and people with superpowers. Most of them were both.

[st_ratagem]

"You'll never know 'til you try." Loki took another drink and went back to watching the rain. Thor had always liked rain and storms; when his powers had come in there had probably been a measurable uptick in rainfall on Asgard. Just from exposure, Loki tended to find it soothing as well.