Fishy drama (Loki and Val)

[st_ratagem]

Goldfish, it turned out, were hypnotic. They swirled around, sometimes in a school and sometimes random, mostly empty fish minds mostly a dull, whispery hum. Despite that, it was easy to see little fish stories unfolding and little cliques forming and breaking up. There were reasons Loki had filched a roomy armchair from elsewhere in the Inn and set it up near the tank: he, Valkyrie, or both together spent enough time fish-watching that comfort was called for.

At present there seemed to be a small cadre of goldfish endlessly circling the same decorative rock, chasing off all the other fish when they approached. It could have been just a gang with territory, but Loki and Valkyrie had decided it was a fishy cult, worshipping the rock as a god. Valkyrie had suggested a small statue of him more than once, to see if the fish cult would abandon their rock. He’d laughed, but he had created their world and provided their food, so... it wasn’t that ridiculous.

Regardless, the fish continued to circle their rock. Holy wars were something to work up to.

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[st_ratagem]

“I expect you will be.” He traced the line of her throat and her collarbone, relieved that she’d meant the fish. “You’re much hardier than they are.”

[st_allionofdoom]

"Right." She affirmed, though it was distant. She turned her head to silently watch the fish swim about.

[st_ratagem]

...it wasn’t the fish. Damn.

Sometimes when Valkyrie’s attention and mind drew back, it was memories. At those times, it was comparatively easy to pull her to the present. This, whatever it was, didn’t feel like that. She was present, but....

It might have been possible to subtly probe directly, but Loki opted for words instead. No sense making something potentially bad even worse. “Of course, if we weren’t talking about fish, this conversation might go differently.”

[st_allionofdoom]

“The future.” Those two words alone communicated enough, but while Loki was inquiring, it didn’t make sense to leave anything vague.

“Speaking with His Majesty, it’s a toss up whether I’m alive or dead.” Her lips drew another thin line. “Downer. I know.”

[st_ratagem]

“The uncertainty alone must be... odd.” He hadn’t thought about her in the future at all, quite possibly because he didn’t want to contemplate the Valkyrie as anything but alive. “For what it’s worth, I think you live. Purely because I don’t care to think of you any other way.”

[st_allionofdoom]

“Who can say?” Certainly not her, and apparently not Thor. Her tone was rather objective, bearing little pity for herself at all. Her full lips quirked in a bit of humor at Loki’s last remark, reaching up to brush her fingers along his sharp cheek.

“I’ve got days to set the future in stone once I return.” Whenever that was.

[st_ratagem]

“There you go.” It wasn’t terribly likely that she’d be able to do much either way, but it was comforting to think maybe. Much more so than the more realistic understanding that he’d first be too much her enemy and then too dead to try and put a thumb on the scale to help her somehow. “And who knows how long between then and now.”

[st_allionofdoom]

Quietly, she lowered her legs to the floor and rose to sit side-by-side with Loki. Clipped Fin circled the hermit’s private rock once before returning to her patrol, and Valkyrie gazed at Loki, lips poised to speak.

[st_ratagem]

They hadn’t discussed the future except in light, brief terms, a reference or quip dropped here and there but not dwelled on. This felt like it would be neither light nor brief, so Loki shifted to face her in the chair, as clear as he could be that his attention was on Valkyrie, not the fish.

[st_allionofdoom]

“You follow your own path.” She began, a host of conflicting emotions playing out all at once on her face. “You’re nothing like Thor. I know that.”

[st_ratagem]

“All true.” Both things, Loki thought, were obvious to anyone who’d actually met both brothers, but a start like that was the tactic of someone who wanted to make sure there was no misunderstanding. Or who wished she wasn’t about to say whatever she was going to, perhaps.

Whatever the reason, he reached out to stroke her cheek again. Whether it would be comforting or not, who knew?

[st_allionofdoom]

“...I love it and I hate it.” She knew the words in her head and her heart, but they were fighting all the way up her throat, escaping as a clipped quip and a sheepish adjustment of her bangs.

[st_ratagem]

“The latter alone is the more traditional option,” he noted, watching her carefully. It was true, though; historically speaking, ‘nothing like Thor’ was the same as ‘nothing worthwhile’. That Valkyrie could include the first half made her unusual, but Loki suspected they’d be discussing the more traditional side.

[st_allionofdoom]

"I have a complicated relationship with traditions." Brushing that aside, she continued. "And...this isn't me trying to make this complicated. It already is. It doesn't need my help. But I know myself. And I think I'm getting to know you. The moment I get back, our plans are going to come into conflict when I break the news about the future."

[st_ratagem]

“I’m from before you, it’s likely I’ll already know.” She was getting to know him, better than almost anyone... or at least she got to see things and take liberties he didn’t allow anyone else. Just sitting like they were, piled into one chair, was one thing. “Though I believe I can guess where you think we’ll conflict.”

[st_allionofdoom]

"The part where you throw yourself to the wolves with the Tesseract?" She stated with similar objectivity, though it was forced.

[st_ratagem]

Loki shook his head with a slight, amused smile. "See? Already we conflict, because I would contest that description of events."

[st_allionofdoom]

Valkyrie nodded upwards towards him, signalling her full attention--hopefully with as few tricks in store along the way as possible.

[st_ratagem]

"My brother would have you believe several things about which he's utterly wrong, mostly due to the fact that he is completely unable to conceive of himself as anything but the center of the universe." Loki resisted the urge to reach out to Valkyrie and pull her close, instead picking at his hands just to keep them occupied. "He'd have you believe that I should depart his Statesman when you do, for one. He's completely wrong, and it's because he refuses to understand the fact that Thanos gives, if possible, fewer than zero shits about him. Thanos will be there for me, twice over: once to kill me for failing him, once for the Tesseract. Were I to leave with you, the only thing that would happen is that you and everyone with you would die horribly when Thanos follows."

[st_allionofdoom]

Valkyrie's lips drew back into that thin line in lieu of a retort. He wasn't wrong. But...

"So you see no way out. None."

[st_ratagem]

"It's not like that." Loki sighed. "Listen. I will admit that death sooner rather than later is fine with me, but I hate losing much more than I want to die. There are any number of ways around what I know and what I saw. First and easiest is simply not returning to the Statesman. According to what Thor says, I had the Tesseract, I had a ship, and I have knowledge of where at least one other Infinity Stone is. It would be the easiest thing in the universe for me to use the Tesseract and start either running or collecting. Even that other me who hadn't been here knew that. But I chose to return to the Statesman."

He leaned forward slightly, as if trying to will her to understand. "I must have a reason for that. Thor would have you believe that when Thanos hits the Statesman, I started to scramble and improvise, but that's not what I saw. I saw steps in a much larger plan. Not my plan, of course. Not Thor's, either, I think. I don't know whose plan it is or all the whys here and now, but I have to trust my own judgement. If my judgement is that handing the Stone to Thanos and dying at his hand is the best path, which it clearly was-slash-will-be, then that is my plan. If, when I reach that point, the whys aren't sufficient, I will do something else."

[st_allionofdoom]

Sooner rather than later. Valkyrie said nothing, her gaze steady but sorrowful.

[st_ratagem]

What? What was there to be sad about? This wasn't him being bleak or exercising a death wish... not much, anyway. "I don't really have anything else unless there's a specific point you need to hear about."

[st_allionofdoom]

She simply shook her head, face pointing towards the floor. There was nothing to elucidate upon. He presented his logic, and coldly. Any more probing questions would be met with more of the same.

[st_ratagem]

This time he did reach out, to try and pull her close. If she pulled away, though, he'd let her go. Of course he would. "You'll go to Midgard with Thor, and I expect you'll like it there." They both would. "The only thing for me there is solitary confinement for the rest of my life. Four thousand years, give or take." Maybe longer. He didn't actually know what a Jotunn lifespan was. "And if I survive and run elsewhere, I'm still looking at solitary for millennia. You can't possibly blame me for finding either option intolerable."